In her book, "The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity" Rev. Edwene Gaines shares how she challenged herself to go 21 days without complaining or gossiping. This was done to practice integrity with her thoughts and words in an effort to align with true prosperity. She shares though she considered herself a witty conversationalist she found very little to say during her 21-day challenge.
Supposedly 21 days is the time it takes to start a new habit - though many have debunked the idea that this is factual. According to certain studies, it actually takes a little over 2 months. Still, 21 days is just fine for this experiment and if you'd like to continue after the third week more power to ya.
I'm currently on day 2. It's not my first time doing this practice, I decided to join a friend who's trying it out. I encourage coaching clients to do this challenge when we discuss the power of our perception and how we can learn about the belief systems that run our life by examining our words. Most people are surprised by the amount of complaining and gossiping they do during the day, its an unconscious habit.
If done successfully the participant discovers how much better they feel without the complaining and gossip. Most folks say it leaves them with a feeling of freedom. Why do you suppose this is?
Our thoughts and feelings create the world we experience. When we take responsibility for our own state of mind we get to release our victim consciousness. This particular experiment is effective because without the option of complaining we get to focus on all the good in our life. We begin to see what's working instead of fixating on what we think isn't. Without gossip we either only speak about the good qualities of other people or just say nothing (aka mind our own business). When I release others from the responsibility of making me happy, I get to do it for myself.
We're always gathering evidence to prove ourselves right. I find it's just more fun to build a case for a fulfilling life and all I have to do is look for what's good instead of what sucks. I think "freedom" is the perfect word to describe taking responsibility for our own state of mind. I used to spend a lot of time being upset because of what someone else said and I'd make myself so angry by complaining. I'm really grateful that I know now the power in pausing before I speak so I can ask myself, "what are you building a case for today?"
Jesse Brune-Horan is a Spiritual teacher and whole living expert. He's the co-founder & Spiritual director of Inspire Spiritual Community, a non-profit organization supporting the LGBTQ+ community. He's the host of the podcast "LGBTQ+ and Spiritual", and co-host of the lifestyle series "Super Easy with Jesse and Alison." He lives and Loves in Los Angeles with his husband Christopher and their family.