Have you ever felt the impulse to say something nice to a total stranger but decided not to because you're afraid of looking weird? It used to happen to me all the time. I'd be waiting for my coffee at Starbucks, standing next to someone I didn't know and have the urge to tell them that they had a beautiful smile. Then, after taking a second to think about it, opted to keep the compliment to myself because I wanted to respect their boundaries (like I had any idea what their boundaries were).
I attended a lecture by Rev. Jennifer Hadley on the topic of cultivating our Loving intuition. It was the week after the young man opened fire at a movie theater in Colorado wounding and killing several people. She asked the congregation if we thought he might have a different world view if he experienced more kindness in his life. She invited us to consider where we withhold Love from others because of our own insecurities.
Many fears in my life had everything to do with what other people might think of me if I pursued my dreams. I would self-sabotage personal goals with procrastination and eventually lose interest only to wind up with the feeling that I never get to do what I really want to do. I'd fall victim to my own insecurities and doubt.
When I finally realized that people will totally "get me" or totally "not get me" no matter what I do, I was able to give myself permission to move in the direction I was interested in. Freeing yourself from the fear of what other people think is liberating. The truth is, people are going to think whatever they're going to think and you really can't do anything about that. When you allow yourself to stay focused on what turns you on, you'll have way more time to accomplish your goals and in-joy the process!
This understanding helped me to honor my Loving intuition. Releasing the fear of what other people think allows us to connect authentically with the people we're sharing the planet with; novel idea, right? If we're all one, it's safe to say that when you have the impulse to offer a compliment or an uplifting gesture to someone it's probably because they could use it. The simple gesture of holding a door open, letting someone go ahead of you in line or complimenting someone's outfit has the potential to drastically alter the trajectory of their day.
We must become courageous enough to Love each other. Give Love generously without expecting anything in return; know that you're tapped into an infinite source of good and there's plenty to go around. When we feel empowered to Love we create the space for miracles to unfold with ease and this leads to transformation; personally and globally.
This is how we tear down walls, not build new ones.
Jesse Brune-Horan is a Spiritual teacher and whole living expert. He's the co-founder & Spiritual director of Inspire Spiritual Community, a non-profit organization supporting the LGBTQ+ community. He's the host of the podcast "LGBTQ+ and Spiritual", and co-host of the lifestyle series "Super Easy with Jesse and Alison." He lives and Loves in Los Angeles with his husband Christopher and their family.