The fear of being judged has prevented more dreams from coming true than almost any other mental block I've encountered in my work as a spiritual coach and counselor.
This fear is amplified when our own jealous thoughts and feelings go unquestioned. It's easy to project judgments onto those who are courageous enough to do the things we're too afraid to try. I can pull many examples from my life. It felt like a punch in my gut when friends took a leap of faith I wasn't ready to take yet. I'd convince myself they were being foolish or selfish and complain to mutual friends about how "full of themselves" they'd become.
There was nothing I wanted more than to move in a direction that felt exciting and fun. It was easy to convince myself it wasn't the right time or the resources weren't in place for me to make a move. My complaining would make it worse. The more my peers would succeed the more evidence I'd gather to prove it wasn't the right time for me. Regret, frustration, and disappointment became regular fixtures in my life as I watched my friends grow and thrive.
The judgments I projected onto my friends were so harsh I was petrified they might judge me too. Maybe they would but I reached a place where the stagnation of my life became too uncomfortable to bear. I accepted that anyone else's opinion was none of my business and I was only interested in feedback that felt helpful.
I made a commitment to celebrate the success of others. I constantly reminded myself of the infinite abundance in the Universe. I gathered evidence to prove this moment was the perfect time to make a move and I was absolutely the kind of person that made miracles happen. Knowing that we're all one, I started to hold everyone's success as my own. Every time a colleague would achieve something cool it was proof that prosperity is flowing and that deserves to be celebrated!
My friend Jennifer says, "The liar always feels lied to." This means that we expect others to treat us the same way we treat them. When I healed my own feelings of inadequacy and started truly honoring all the good stuff happening with my friends and colleagues, I felt more supported and uplifted as I moved towards my goals. I stopped waiting for people to "get me" and started to show them who I really was.
Jesse Brune-Horan is a spiritual teacher and happy living expert. He's the co-founder and spiritual director of Inspire Spiritual Community. Over the last decade he's given hundreds of teachings, workshops, and classes on spiritual living.