It's almost my wedding anniversary. I had a blast planning the "Big Day" and it was a total success if I do say so myself. Success in this scenario means that all our guests had a great time and the joy was flowing, everyone could feel it. It was exactly what we had envisioned.
One tiny detail that I didn't consider when planning an event in February is the fact that Chris's family live on the east coast. I've never experienced a winter in New York and didn't factor in weather conditions. The biggest storm of the season hit the week of our wedding and all flights out of New York were cancelled. My in-laws were stuck.
Suddenly, this perfectly smooth experience had major bumps. Chris is very close to his family and we couldn't imagine hosting the event if they weren't there. Not to mention the fact that we were getting married before Marriage Equality was the law of the land. Prop 8 was just lifted in California which meant we were part of the first wave of same-sex couples who's marriage would be legally recognized. Having Chris's parents and brother at the wedding felt like the final chapter in an evolutionary story that arched nearly 50 years. They've all come a long way and it really meant something to have his dad at the ceremony, his brother standing next to him, and his mom walking with him down the aisle. They HAD to be there.
Nature doesn't always cooperate with your social calendar. No matter how much I prayed, the weather didn't change. During a rather dramatic panic attack, I called my friend Jennifer, who was the minister officiating our ceremony. I remember saying, "this is not how I want to learn about non-attachment!" She listened compassionately and said, "You know, the best case scenario will never present itself until we're willing to see it." She was right.
Our greatest good is always unfolding but it's hard to appreciate that if we're not willing to accept it. If we allow this principle to be foundational, then we begin to understand that no matter what's happening, it's always for our benefit. We've called every experience into our life to support us in waking up to our truth. So even this scenario was perfect and full of potential to heal and transform - if I was willing to believe it was happening for my good.
So, I took on the mantra, "The best case scenario is unfolding and I am willing to see it." I would repeat it every time I started stressing out. I became willing to believe that the wedding would still be perfect if they weren't there and that we could create another ceremony at another time to honor them. The less attached I was to the specifics the more present I became with what was actually happening.
And wouldn't you know, in the space I created a miracle transpired. By God's grace my in-laws were able to hop on the ONE flight that was leaving out of New York. My sister-in-law even forgot her i.d. and they let her on the plane. One day before the rehearsal, our entire family came together. It all worked out. It was a healing experience for all of us, because Love is the great healer and the Love was palpable. Because of the details of this experience, everyone was beyond grateful to be together. The BEST case scenario unfolded and I was present enough to appreciate it in the moment.
Jesse Brune-Horan is a Spiritual teacher and happy living expert. He's the co-founder & Spiritual director of Inspire Spiritual Community, a non-profit organization supporting the LGBTQ+ community. He's the host of the podcast "LGBTQ+ and Spiritual", and co-host of the lifestyle series "Super Easy with Jesse and Alison." He lives and Loves in Los Angeles with his husband Christopher and their family.