In 2010, my mentor Jennifer Hadley and I hosted the first Sunday service for Inspire Spiritual Community. Back in those days we called in Project: Services L.A. but as the community evolved so did the name.
We launched on Valentine's Day. I'd like to say we chose the holiday because of its association with LOVE but the truth is Jennifer finally put her foot down and told me that I had to quick stalling. I was so nervous. Every time I considered opening the doors to the public I would have a minor panic attack.
I didn't know how to do this. I trusted Jennifer but I didn't totally trust myself. I wanted it to be perfect and wasn't sure if I could pull it off.
What if no one shows up? What if I get up to say something and go blank or say the wrong thing? This was new territory for me. I stumbled through applying for non-profit status and opening a business bank account but now it was showtime and I was petrified.
Spiritual community was a very abstract concept to me at that time. But that didn't matter, it was show time and I made a commitment that I was determined to see through.
So, on February 14, 2010 I showed up to the posh gay bar where we were hosting the services and set up. I moved chairs around and made a make-shift stage while Jennifer burnt sage and offered a blessing. When it was time to begin, we had about twelve people show up and we did the service.
I welcomed people, my friend Monique sang a couple songs, and Jennifer offered a great sermon. Then we did a closing blessing and people left. If was surprisingly normal.
This was such a great learning moment for me. Sometimes I'd build the "unknown" up to be something big and scary. But when I just show up and say yes, the way is shown and I learn something new. I decided that day to trust that the Universe has my back and to always remember that I'm a capable person.
Today, I assume that the unknown is going to be awesome. I expect wonderful and miraculous things to happen to me because, why wouldn't they? If I show up and say YES the rest of the details tend to fall into place. This practice has taught me to be flexible and fluid - moving with the flow of the Universe instead of pushing against it or worst of all, standing on the side and watching life float by, too afraid to dive in.
Jesse Brune-Horan is a Spiritual teacher and happy living expert. He's the co-founder & Spiritual director of Inspire Spiritual Community, a non-profit organization supporting the LGBTQ+ community. He's the host of the podcast "LGBTQ+ and Spiritual", and co-host of the lifestyle series "Super Easy with Jesse and Alison." He lives and Loves in Los Angeles with his husband Christopher and their family.